The Sounds of the Season - Testivus Carols

It's Testivus time again.  Or for those of you who are more politically correct, Happy Show What You Know.  For me, I prefer to stay the time honored and more sacred name of Testivus.

As we regale in the splendor of this season, enjoy these meager attempts to touch on the true spirit of Testivus as  we share Testivus Carols together.


Deck the Halls


Deck the halls with lots of tests
Fa La La La La, La La La La
See the students and teachers stress
Fa La La La La, La La La La
Mul-ti-ple Cho-ice Que-stions
Fa La La, La La La, La La La
Cheat our students of educations
Fa La La La La, La La La La


When the scores come back we'll see
Fa La La La La, La La La La
That no one is better than me
Fa La La La La, La La La La
As we Race to the Top
Fa La La, La La La, La La La
When will the madness stop?
Fa La La La La, La La La La


Here Comes Testivus
(to the tune of Here Comes Santa Claus)


Here comes Testivus! Here comes Testivus!
Right down Testivus Lane
Score based reform and teacher blame
are pulling on the reins
Cash registers ringing, test companies singing
for them it's merry and bright
Why are we so happy to do this
'cause none of this just ain't right


Here comes Testivus! Here comes Testivus!
Right down Testivus Lane
It's got a bag that's filled with tests
for boys and girls again
Critical thinking, creativity
all of that has been nixed
So join your voices and say your prayers
'cause all of this must be fixed


O Wondrous Test
(to the tune of O Holy Night)


O Wondrous Test, whose questions are so probing
You are the one who will show how well I've taught
All of my students, will be marked for life
As either bright or the ones who'll hold us back
A feel of dread the weary teacher has
For yonder breaks the same old failed methods


Fall on your knees
Plead for reform to come
O test designed to show us nothing
O test, o test so badly designed


Long lay the school in test prep centered instruction
because no one wants to seem inadequate
Gone are the days of relevant curriculum
As we strive for the magic number of gold
Students will learn all the factoids that we choose
Instead of real concepts of what they should


Fall on your knees
Plead for reform to come
O test designed to show us nothing
O test, o test so badly designed


Truly we know that there's a better way
To assess what our children really know
We all hate you Test, yet we still bow down
Because we want the government's money
Are we really helping out our country
or are we merely holding ourselves back?


Fall on your knees
Plead for reform to come
O test designed to show us nothing
O test, o test so badly designed